who...is being neglected?

在每个人的心里，都会有个无形的name list。名字出现在越上的人，也就越重要。有时侯我想，被我top-listed的那些人，我在他们的心目中是否也同样重要？人生从来都不公平，你以这样的方式对待某人，不代表那人也会以同样的方式对你。

isn't it pathetic to keep writing name in the sand knowing that it'll disappear eventually

人生就好比舞台。在人生这个舞台上，每个人其实都想做主角。许多人浪费了很多时间，却只当上了配角。当不上主角，却又嫉妒别人的好，这又何苦呢？为何不自己努力一点，发掘自己的长处，主宰人生，做自己生命的主角。我们有没有权利选择被重视？如果能选择，谁不希望被别人重视，被关怀，被放在第一位？人生，虽然有很多选择，却有的时候，我选择了不要去选择。

我告诉自己，没什么大不了的，只怪我太过情绪化。不是每件事都能称心如意，也许，如果我自私一点的话，会好过一点。

listing

5 more things to go for the year..should i start my shopping list......? ^^

if lar, i got enuf "capital"

flying dandelion

就读小六的妹妹回到家跟妈妈说，她的朋友都看不起她，因为她是其中一个少数学生被派到另一间中学。妈对她说，没有人能看不起你，除了你自己。那间中学没什么不好（我另一个弟弟在那里就读），但妹妹苦苦哀求，妈也答应尝试申请另一间中学。

每个人都害怕面对自己的缺点，而我最大的缺点是缺乏自信心。虽然表面上没什么，但是我最介意的还是男友对我的看法。一直以来，我都生活在自卑和自怜当中,好不容易建立起来的自信心再次散落满地。一个星期有多少天我能够自信满满地出门？

因为他说的话，不管是以前的我，还是现在的我，不自觉地像月球绕着地球公转，蒙了双眼，越来越没有自我。就算全世界的人都瞧不起我都无所谓，我还能站出来为自己说话；可是如果对象是我男友的话，我就会开始质疑自己，他才是对的。

讲白一点，我不喜欢这样的自己，可是我却无法对他的眼光视而不见。或者我应该说，我因为他而改变。改变我的生活习惯，改变我的想法，变得越来越依靠他，那真正的我又去了哪里？

蒲公英需要很大的勇气和自信才可以离开它原来的地方，展开人生旅程。

或许，我就像还在一点一点地累积能量的蒲公英，好让我能展翅高飞的一天。

32 days more to go...

i like making mosaic recently, spend time finding the pictures i want on flickr and combine them together..approximately 32 days to go for my grade 8 violin exam. i guess it will fall on a saturday end of nov...im ALMOST prepared for it..just wait for the day to come...

"I think music in itself is healing. It's an explosive expression of humanity. It's something we are all touched by. No matter what culture we're from, everyone loves music."

- Billy Joel -

we got married

For the past few months, i have been watching a reality Korean variety show "we got married". This show is highlighting "pre-arranged marriages" of four celebrity couples, and it shows what life would be like if each of these couples had really married.

Personally, i like reality show very much because you cannot expect what will happen next and it shows human's true feelings and identity. These are some of the missions they did before during the film..as far as i can remember...

• first day of marriage, move to new house
• housewarming day
• make love lunchbox
• cooking for each other
• farm experience
• sports day (they consider snooker as one kind of sports...)
  
• buy gifts for parents' day
  
• spending the day off together
• make a memory
• take care of husband / wife
• go vacation with partner
• attend concert, create surprises (as they're celebrity)
  
• 100th day wedding anniversary photo shooting (all couples were not comfortable with the photo session bcoz they were forced to make kissing scenes)
  
• take care of baby as a married couple ( i was shocked too when they gave a quadruplet babies for a couple! can u imagine.....)
  
• farewell journey - to do whatever for the last time

They did all these missions in 7 months. In real life, i'm not sure an actual couple could have done so many things and have these experiences...


Most of the couples don't click in the beginning but as time goes by, they are kinda "substitute" each other as each of them have distinguish characteristics and amazingly it works well when they're together...the final episode of this show, the couples have to decide whether to continue their relationship or not by choosing "I love you" or "I'm sorry"...

The Ant and Witch Couple (Crown J and Seo In Young)

This couple spent most of their time arguing. She is kinda being pampered too much and always order her man around..but the thing is, he always willing to be the one tolerating. Their common interest is, they love "new-arrivals" stuffs, especially shoes are their "babies". Even on their wedding shoot, they bring along their collection of shoes...

The Romantic Couple (Alex and Shin Ae)

He is the MOST romantic guy ever in this world, he cooks for her, massage her foot, drink milk in wine glass, sing song for her in his concert, gave her a plant with the heart (as shown in pic), make effort to create damn a lot of SURPRISESSSS..basically he does ALL a girl dreams for...who wouldn't fall for him? He is the perfect guy!! He was criticized not being realistic in life because of his humor and romance...

The Lettuce Couple (Kim Hyun Joong and Hwangbo)

What happens when an older women married to a younger man? (6 years difference if not mistaken) They were surprised of this arrangement by the producer of the film. His hilarious jokes always make her laugh rolling on the floor, i can't explain this guy, he always do things unexpectedly (like a kid) and no one thinks like him, i mean it...

The Realistic Couple (Andy and Solbi)

This couple looked good and normal from the beginning, they progressed to talk bout future perspective and point of view. He even met her parents. All couples make up to the end except for this couple, no wonder they cried so much during the last day together..they confessed everything (without telling their decision) and being so emotional, because of this nostalgic experience. They gone through almost everything that possible occurred during a relationship. They are so comfortable with each other together after spent 7 months together but they chose not to continue.


I guess this is how life should be, we just keep trying until we meet the right one, don't we?

i gonna miss this show, new couples will be on the screen but i don't think i'll continue watching it...

back to coll...

after the 2 weeks mid-term break, i'm back to coll again..bathing with my eyes closed early in the morning, my body still haven't adapt to the new timing..tons of assignments to do..lots of deadlines, guidelines to follow, discussions, compilation, submission..

but not so rush actually, just need a little bit more concentration...

2 subject classes are canceled due to the degree France trip..kinda good news for us can go back home earlier for this week and next week..but assignments still have to do lar..AT LEAST im not fishing in the class..

CONFIRMED ady this sem gonna end 19th dec..im TOO SAD..really thought the whole month of december is holiday...taylors bluff us..=( time always flies so fast n very soon, college life will be over without me realising it..cant wait for it..a total new starting for me..

Always a Listener

Sometimes, i get SICK of listen to ppl, why do i hv to LISTEN all the time? frankly speaking, i got no one that i can talk to without boundaries..even the closest ppl around me, there're consequences for wat i said and it changes the way they look at me.. a listener needs someone to be the listener too...

perhaps it'll be better spending some quiet time alone

when everything else ain't important anymore

I didn't follow my family to visit my grandparents, when i got back, my mum as usual was "reporting" to me what had happened..

My grandpa finally decided to sell off his land, which currently planted tropical fruit trees. For me, it beings not much difference, just i cant enjoy the fruits anymore but it is quite a shocking news as the land means priceless to him. He had spent his entire life working in the land, from last time cocoa (i think) and now the fruit orchard.

He raised his voice and said, "I'm already going to 70, i don't want to work anymore, don't make me suffer anymore." Normal people retire at the age of 55 and he retire at 70, as many people said before, there is no retirement in agriculture sector.It seems like he still haven't recover from his daughter's sudden death. It is way too much for an old man, what is more terrible for an old man to stand in front of his daughter's grave? During my aunt's funeral, he looked extremely calm and all in the sudden, he cried and frightened everyone in the night. It is awful to see a white haired sending off a black haired, like the Chinese said.

My mum said, he is under a lot of pressure. All he needs the most now, is a little bit more caring from his children, as he said before he can't afford to lose anything anymore. "How are you" on the phone will be sufficient to cheer him up.

btw, this man in the pic is not my granpa! =)