i was once ur baby

this post is not suppose to be here since it is in Chinese, but i onli realize that my another blog is not functioning properly..after type finish..=(

失宠的小孩

从小，我就是被爸爸溺爱的小孩，虽然在家里是长女，还有年幼的弟妹，但非常明显的爸爸还是不时偏护着我。直至最近，我发现爸爸也开始比较关心弟妹，虽然是好事，但是被宠惯的我心里忍不住觉得不是滋味，我再也不是那个享用“特权”的心肝宝贝。我知道，我不该那么自私，那么幼稚地想要独占这一切。

近一年来，我推测是交了现任男友后，我和家人逐渐疏远了。我妈说我呆在家里的时间越来越少，自然也比以前少沟通，但我从来都没有忽略与家人的感情。我承认，现在是比以前更少相处时间，但这都是因为忙于课业。令我感到特别无奈的是，不管我这么解释，我妈还是一口咬定说我有了男友就不要这个家了。每当她提起我翅膀长硬了，再也不需要这个家，以后也六亲不认了，我就觉得很心痛。为什么她不明白我从来没有放弃这个家的念头？

有时候，我觉得好累，徘徊于家人和男友之间，两者叫我怎么取舍？对我来说，现在我最需要的是家人的支持与鼓励，在不久的将来，我也要正式进入社会，也要面对形形色色的人，家，还是不是我的避风港？还有其他种种的因素，让我觉得恨不得早一点离开这个家。我想，有可能聚少离多反而会增进家人之间的感情。

little princess

hand in hand

There're many forms of holding hand and it brings different meanings with different people...

how good if i'm not the eldest child? how good if i have a elder bro and i can hide behind him whenever i did smtg wrong? *wink*

this reminds me of a friend of mine when i was small, we play piano together, attend drawing classes, play games, even fight outside his house..haha..still remember he always wanted me to sit beside him, childhood wasn't so meaningless

when i was form 2, we were once best friend, we girls are pretty comfortable with holding hands but things went wrong after that, even now i still cant figure out how did it happen..but there is no enemy after all..

seeking for a warm palm that comforts me...

have u ever had the feeling when leaving becomes a difficult thing

leaves fall during the autumn, do love sustain to eternity? what happens when love becomes a tiring task

lovely couple enjoying the cloudless blue sky at beachside

some people spent their entire life finding someone that can go hand in hand down the road, no matter what happens..

when i was little, i always want someone to hold my hand - the secure feeling

a mother holds your hand for a little while, but your heart forever...

Baby likes to grab finger and never let it go

the loveliest creature in this world - the little hands that clinging onto finger that makes mummy or daddy forget everything else going on in the world

mum, dad and baby - a baby completes a perfect family

i always admire old couples, holding hands sitting in the cafe or just walking around - guess that is the time where they have the most free time after been through all the hardship in their life

holding grandfather's hand, a sense of happiness in the family


hold someone's hand indicates giving the support, bring people closer and gives the feeling of togetherness...

he's back

he told me he is coming back, surprisingly i wasn't much excited despite all his friends are happily welcoming his return to Malaysia...a bit slow reaction i think, what kinda gf am i...

anyway, he's back now!! he brought me chocolates and cookies which are locally MADE IN AUSSIE, china's milk case is kinda sensitive right now, haha..Not forgetting a little colorful dress, a white cardi and a lovely bracelet..nice!! **smiling all the way** tell me who doesn't like presents...

Just realized that i actually miss his everything so much =) good luck for interview tmr, darling..

thinking too much

waiting...

i feel today is a bit long, couldn't sleep in the night. just finish reading a book《7 days》. it is a teenage novel borrowed fr my sis, but the storyline is really interesting. A bunch of school children in a bus, drown into the river and discover a new yet ancient world. 7 days, short and unforgettable experience.

gonna re-watch a movie......

another sleepless night, it is still early thou

perfect body shape

what is a perfect women body shape? 38 22 36? i dunno is that possible..but for me, a women's body shape is really amazing..i like to see photos and nude photos do attract me..im not a lesbian lar but i like photos that illustrate and outstanding the S shape of the body..that is what makes women different from men what..today, i told a guy that most of the boyfriends will like their girlfriends to dress sexy when they are together..and he said of coz, u think why guy date a girl, if not they would rather choose a guy..

be a perfectionist

My violin teacher once said before, musicians are perfectionists, they ensure every sound they produce is in tune, in time and presented the way it should be. In order to detect the mistakes or imperfect sound, one needs to concentrate in hearing and it is a skill one required as time goes by (I'm completely deaf in music, seriously)

The first response when people found out that I'm playing music instruments is i got so much of talents. If you ask me do playing music instrument needs talents? The answer will be a definite NO. Well, composing music might need some creativity and inspirations though. DETERMINATION is the key of success.

A lot of ppl choose to give up when they face difficulties. But i chose to go on as there shouldn't be any excuse. I took Grade 8 piano in the year of SPM. And i going to take Grade 8 violin this year, during the semester exam of tourism degree. Thinking of this, i can only pray that my exam day wont clash!! Or else i really dunno what to do..Sometimes i think that why m i torturing myself with all the hassle, and STRESS. But the answer i get is i gain satisfaction whenever i achieved something, after all the hard work. And i think that's how life should be, too. By achieving small goals that lead to success.

This entry is to motivate myself as i'm facing real big obstacles in violin, struggling to overcome it. Learning instrument is a personal thing, no one will understands how hard the preparation is before some one can play on stage. Don't wish me luck before exam, it is meaningless.

I can do it. I must.

Dreaming

There're tons of assignments awaiting me.And what am i doing right now?? i wanna go shopping, hang out and eat some nice food, escape to an unspoilt island, vacation to a foreign place...i think i dream too much.But i don't mind watching drama online the whole day, or just browsing around and do nothing.But i just couldn't get rid of the guilty feeling.I'm just too reluctant to buried myself in assignments.

i browse in flickr quite often and recently i'm "attached" to this photographer's creations. Katielee, a professional photographer, whom sometimes takes wedding photos.And now she challenged her creativity to do a project, which is called 365 which is a self potrait everyday, with the theme is "HER". Here are some of the photos that i love.

This is her

Day 167 beyond my soul dare to reach

Day 147 i swore i would never date another musician, but marry one

Day 56 twinkle toes

Day 146 i'm alive

children dance before they know there is anything that isn't music

Day 34 i love him

Day 168 it's swimsuit season

Day 224 lovely couple

Day 99 home sweet bubble

in love with myself

gravitation is not responsible for people falling in love. ~Albert Einstein

visit katielee on flickr

Our First Anniversary

Sept 2, i still rber when my darling said why dont make it 31 aug? A date can never be forgotten.lol. I feel like it just happened yesterday and now without realising it, a year had passed. i hv been through a lot of "first-time"s with him and now, it is my first and last long-distance relationship. =) Even we are far apart but i know there is someone loved me as much as i do..